Listed here are myths concerning the dynamics of violence in a family:

* The Battered Woman Syndrome affects only a small percentage of the population.

* Battered women are masochistic.

* Battered women are crazy.

* Middle-class women do not get battered as frequently or as violently as do poorer women.

* Minority women are battered more frequently than Anglos.

* Religious beliefs will prevent battering.

* Battered women are uneducated and have few job skills.

* Batterers are violent in all their relationships.

* Batterers are unsuccessful and lack resources to cope with the world.

* Drinking causes battering behavior.

* Batterers are psychopathic personalities.

* Police can protect battered women.

* The batterer is not a loving person.

* A wife batterer also beats his children.

* Once a battered woman, always a battered woman.

* Once a batterer, always a batterer.

* Long-standing battering relationships can change for the better.

* Battered women deserve to get beaten.

* Battered women can always leave home.

* Batterers will cease their violence "when we get married."

* Children need their father even if he is violent -- or "I'm only staying for the sake of the children."

Ok now that I put this out stop and think about my last blog about abused kids!! This was ME!! I was a battered parent and wife!! I just want people to understand that NO ONE should have to ever go through what I went through!!!

Now I am happy and a little broken but the main thing is that I AM SAFE!!! Living life the way that I should be and thanking God for everything he has handed me!! Some of my family have always been there for me and my friends have ALWAYS been there!! Ok I will stop ranting now.

It makes you think don't ya think??

For those of you who are not football fans I say "Oh Poopy!!"

For the VERY first time my team the Seattle Seahawks are going to the Super bowl and people here are just going crazy!!!!! Since the team started in 1976 they have NEVER made it passed a playoff game until last night!!!

OK just one more time!!!

WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!
GO SEAHAWKS!!!

Well Skyler has got the pulling up thing down to a science and is trying very hard to walk along the couch and chairs to get around the living room..AND he has started getting his top left front tooth and left eye tooth they are just starting to come down and before that he was getting the top right front tooth and right eye tooth -- I am thinking that he will be going on the bottle soon something about all those little razor sharp teeth and my nipple does NOT sound like a good combonation!!

Anthony is also at his own mile marker in life, his is learning how to tie his shoes!! He get frustrated and asks me to finish it -- no big deal he is just starting out!! He is very smart and will have it down in no time!!

That's it for now on the boys!!!

Here is a sad story that I wish to share with you all so some of you can see where I am coming from...

Over 12 years ago I met a man who I thought was a great guy!! He liked my boys (the two teenagers)we would go and spend the day at the beach or go to the movies anything just to be together and I thought "WOW, where did this guy come from?" He was great!! After a while he asked me if I would move in with him...Cool I thought I could have a good relationship for once and my children could have someone to be a male role model for them since their father wasn't!!!

Things were going good when we first moved in together and everyone was happy for us until one day... a dark cloud came and never left... He started by telling me that I HAD to potty train my oldest who was about 2 at the time and he was not ready because he was having alot of accidents still then one day my oldest had a poop accident and this MONSTER came alive he grabbed my son and took him into the bathroom and stripped his clothes off of him and put him in the shower and turn on STRAIGHT cold water on my baby I tried like hell to get to him but this monster turned around and punched me sooo hard in the stomach I thought I was going to die!!! He then started telling me that I had to have the house spotless even though we were not the only people living in this 2 bedroom mobile home in Bum F*** Egypt!! In total there was 7 adults and my 2 children I was being turned into a slave and IF I was to say anything about having to do all the work -- I got hit!! GET OUT you say -- I wish I could have!!! I was never allowed to be left alone and was not allowed to use the phone or the car and if I did he had to be right there so I would not say a word about what was going on... You see he not only physically abused my boys but mentally and sexually abused them too. This is very harsh and I am sorry about this but I want people to hear my side of this terrible story!!

I know what you are thinking the same thing that everyone else was saying.. get out or call the police or go to a neighbor -- I was never alone!! My mother and stepdad took me to court and got custody of my boys-- I could not even tell the judge what was going on because HE was there too!!! He got mad one time because I had totally cleaned the house from top to bottom the kitchen was spotless and then without knowing it someone had put a dish in the sink he came over grabbed me by my hair threw me into the kitchen and then hit me again and threw everything on the floor and yelled at me to clean it up!!! I prayed that I did it right so I would not get hit again!! I was not allowed a mop or broom to clean...Sorry I have to stop for a sec... What I don't understand is that I would have done everything he wanted so WHY go after my boys!!! They were sooo small and helpless and if I tried to protect them I would get it twice as hard!!! So now the story thickens~~~We went to court and tried to tell the judge that we wanted to be a family (his idea)well in order for that to happen we had to got and take random U.A.'s and I had to go to parenting classes -- NICE HUH??? I went and did it and he refused imagine that!! I begged him to do this becuz my boys are everything to me-- not gonna happen. To this day, my children have fear in them and alot of hatred towards this monster even though no one can find him but he lives in Tacoma somewhere!!! I really hate this man!!!!

Ok so now here we are 12 yrs. later and my oldest still has all this hate in him but now he is turning this hate towards my parents!! They are not spring chickens anymore but they are at their witts end with him...I am very afraid that he is going to kill my stepdad (heart attack) and God knows WHAT he would do to my mom--I do not understand even with all the conseling this child has had over the years that he still uses this anger as an excuse!! A good friend told me tonight that I am not to blame for this that there is evil in people everywhere and I believe him but WHY did I have to find one???

He is starting to act like his father and my oldest brother when he was his age and my parents have to relive this again but this time it is different because this child has no remorse for anything that he does!!! If he breaks a door or something like that he will blame my mom or my other son...GO FIGURE!! He takes no responsibility for his actions at all!!!!! So what do my parents do -- try to talk him down and get him calm but it doesn't work he yells that them and calls my mom a Bitch and worse names than that!! This child is going to end up either getting his ass kicked by his brother or someone else from school because he has no respect for people and that the world revolves around him..I DON'T THINK SO!!!

Part of this story is that with all of the abuse that I took I to this day have lower back pain because he broke a 2 X 4 over it!! I can not do alot of things that you can with small children but I give it my best!!! I love all 4 of my boys but the saddest part about this terrible story is that in the last few years I was very close to my oldest and not so close to my 14 yr old. but now I am close to him but I do not know WHO this 15 old is anymore it is like he is a stranger to me and becoming a monster himself..That is the hardest thing I have ever said about any of my children and I should not feel like that.

I pray every night for my children but I am asking that you pray for him and my parents...


I wish I could turn back time...

Sorry I have been lazy about writing but here you go....

Well got the call from the doctor and all my tests are normal and we have now scheduled my hysterectomy for next month...Kinda crazy but at the same time it will be ok(I think) I am having this done for 2 reasons the first and most important reason is because cancer runs very strong on the female side of my family my grandmother passed away from it and I recently found out the my real dad's dad also died from cancer but his was due to alcohol!! The second reason is just because I am done having children and I am very tired of having monthly PMS!!! Anyways, that's that!!

I was talking to a very good friend of mine about this and he also is going to be having surgery in the near future but I just want to know if you think that you are really ready for that decision??
It make it all so final Ya know!! I keep telling myself that it will be ok but at the same time I could get pregnant again and be happy (this is the problem) See I wanted a girl and all God gave me were boys. Now please don't get me wrong I love all my boys but something is missing!!!

I have a short story for another dear friend of mine (my daughter) when I was 16 I had to make the same decision as you did and I truly understand how you feel and I wanted you to know that you are not being punished nor blamed for anything!!! Hold your head up high and tell yourself that you love yourself and know that your TRUE family will never hurt you like that!!! Your day will come when the dream that you want will come true just be patient and when it happens you will know that it was meant to be!!!

On a lighter note, here is an update on the babies here in Wonderland!! Little Skyler is now mastered the art of pulling himself up on the couch and chairs and is getting two more teeth (top right front and right eye tooth) We went to the dr. today to get his second dose of the flu shot and I had the dr. check his ears -- they are perfect!!! He also now weighs 19 lbs 11 oz. and he is solid!!! Anthony has mastered (for what a 4 yr old can) writing his name and now we are trying to learn to tie his shoes by himself!!! Both of them are healthy and doing great recently I talked to my 2 older boys and things are going good with them my 14 yr. old now has a girlfriend and I looked at him and told him "NO BABIES UNTIL YOU ARE 30!!" I have never been able to embarrass him before and this time it WORKED!!! My oldest is getting screwed by his math class -- he is not understanding what it is he is doing and is flunking his math class -- he is a freshman this year and the teacher just said "then maybe he should do his work!!" Ok this teacher pissed me off so bad that I jumped on the phone and went off on this teacher -- just because my 2 older boys do not live with me doesn't mean that I have to stand by and watch them fail!!! I told the teacher that he has an IEP (can not remember what it stands for but I know what it is) Anyways, the school is now looking into it!!

Well that is all that is happening in my world as of today and I will see you all soon like Sunday night!! Oh yeah, let me explain why after Wednesday night I do not come back on until Sunday's it is because my husband feels that it is dumb and that I should worry about taking care of the boys-- I told him that I don't go on until the boys are asleep and that I only told to a couple of people WELL he still doesn't like it and told me that I should stop-- NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! When I am on in the chatroom with my family there it is MY time and I need someone over the age of 4 to talk to sometimes!!!

Ok I think that this book is long enough for now talk to ya all on the flip side of Sunday